What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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