What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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