So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize