Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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