I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize