Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize