I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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