well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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