Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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