This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize