party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize