well you can't waste a boner
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize