just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize