YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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