the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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