Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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