I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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