In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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