I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize