even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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