so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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