I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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