Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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