There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
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another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
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I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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