I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I am naked and annoyed.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize