i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
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I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
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Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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