Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
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she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
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Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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