The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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