my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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