YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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