Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize