There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
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I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
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Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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