She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
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I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
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Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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