when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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