YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize