He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize