break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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