im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize