Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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