they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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