I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize