Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Shame is for Republicans.
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