...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
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