He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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