its not stalking. its research.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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