What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize