There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
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She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
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Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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