would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
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Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
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you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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