My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize