Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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